


Mistakes

by miya_sugar_star



Series: GA Z E  x  D R A B B L E S [3]
Category: the GazettE
Genre: Angst, Confession, First POV Reita, M/M, Romance, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 06:40:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6970327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miya_sugar_star/pseuds/miya_sugar_star
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuu, I...</p><p>If you think I'm strong, you're wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mistakes

“You don’t have to keep apologizing for everything, ya know.”

 

_Yes, I do._

 

“It’s alright, I understand.”

 

_No, it’s not and you—_

_Don’t. You just don’t._

 

About how I feel–the guilt and shame!!

I make mistakes you know that I hate!

And all this time I’ve been committing them!

Oh, how I wish I could turn back time so I wouldn’t ever…over them- this much, lament…

 

Helpless.

 

_It’s times like this I feel like shit, and I do shit, to you and other people._

I can’t do this, everything I do is shit.

 

What have I done all this time for?

 

I hope too much, fall and break myself hard, irreparable.

 

I hate this.  

 

I misunderstood what they say, and in return I made them misinterpret meanings I never meant to strike…

 

_And to myself._

 

“Do you want to say something, Akira?”

 

With a slow stir of shaking my head, I turn away, breathing through my nose as heavy words flare up my face and break and damp my trembling cheeks with silent burning tears I had been holding.

 

I can’t fix this, the tears are much permanent, I’m regretting this,  I’m going to regret this over and over again next time.

 

They are falling and sipping into my mouth to join with the scattered and torn letters behind it that are unable to form words, able to form sobs, unable to comfort myself, able to only wet my dry tongue.

 

_No need to say, or admit—_

 

I’m not strong, no, _no_. Don’t say that I am, that I _look_ like I am. With all my heart, I’m so, sorry about this.

 

I have to keep apologizing, because you don’t know when we will die, when will I die.

 

So then I wouldn’t regret over this when the _time_ finally comes.

And perhaps, you wouldn’t, as well.

 

“Don’t touch me.” I hiss, choking over my splintered words and scowling at you as if it was your fault, when it was never yours.

 

This is another repeated mistake of my own.

 

“I need some time, Yuu.”

 

So please, give me, hours or days or weeks…

Regardless of how I am in no knowledge…of how much I will get, or how much I still have left.

 

I’ll try to be better for you.

Though, this is just another promise I doubt I can keep up.

 

I just don’t have the strength to trust myself, as much as you do.  

 

I’m sorry.

 

The sleep I will take soon will only make me more lonely and silent.

But for sure it’ll make me forget, just for this brief moment, give myself time to rest.

 

Rest, to self.

You deserve it.

As you did so many times before.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've been frequently not in a good mood lately.


End file.
